It's been a long time, hasn't it?

Life has been busy these last couple of months. Let's see, what happened, again? hehe... Me and my bad memory!

We had our 3rd year anniversary on July 16. We went kayaking at Back Bay (Newport Beach) and King took me to the Palm Terrace restaurant in the Island Hotel. VERY fun! We talked about our relationship and the past year and I asked him how it was for him. He answered, "It was one of the worst years I've ever had." And then he looked at me and we had to laugh because it was SO true, yet it wasn't the most feel good answer. (We're used to that kinda weird irony in our conversations already.) I told him that I agreed. "But," he continued, "I would not have wanted to go through it with anyone but you." I thought that was one of the most special things he's ever said to me.

Another things is that we are both training for the Disney Half Marathon on September 6 (Yikes! 3 weeks away!) and I have run farther and more than I ever have before. It's been a great challenge for me. The thing is that ever since I lost Malaya I pretty much feel like I can do anything. It's amazing, the transformation that happened in me. I'm not the same person I was before all this happened. A few weeks before my sister's wedding I went mountain biking for the first time with the hubby and cried out of frustration and fell a couple of times. But I'll definitely do it again. :) Last week, I went climbing at a rock climbing gym. I was sore for a few days and I didn't make it up a few walls, but it was great. (One more thing I'll be doing this week, too). I've also been eating a lot better and exercising and have lost almost 20lbs in the past four months. I am about 5lbs under my pre-pregnancy weight and still losing. I never knew losing weight was this easy! So, get this--one of the gifts that Malaya has given me is that I am no longer afraid of living life and trying new things. My daughter is so wonderful...

Back to the list of things I've done these past few months...My sister got married about a week ago on the 8th of August! It was a beautiful ceremony and reception and I am really happy for her and Nico. They're coming back from their honeymoon tomorrow then moving all the way to Minnesota this week for a few years. brrrr!!! Props to them because I'll never move anywhere colder than SoCal. I'm cool with warmer weather, but I will not do snow. Anyway...I had a pretty big part in the planning/coordinating of it so even though it was an awesome day I am SOOOO glad it's over. Meeting Nico's family and hanging out with the extended family was pretty cool, too. I love when the Abesamis side gets together and we just start singing praises to God. I cried with one of my aunts (who was a big help while it all was happening because she was a L & D nurse) who was visiting from out of state. She told me that Malaya will always have her place as the first great-grandchild in the Abesamis family. That touched me so deeply. I love people who are not afraid to say her name and see her as a real human being.

I just came from a baby shower today. It was the first I've been to since we lost Malaya. I was praying and deciding whether or not to go and felt like at peace with going. I was pretty much okay the whole time. It was co-ed and a big shower, so somehow the fact that there were a lot of people made me feel like I wouldn't really be missed if I had to slip out if I got too emotional. The only time my heart sank was when they said for all the moms to play this one game and I tried to continue my conversation with someone and pretend that I didn't hear it. One of the girls who was helping with the game came up to me and said, "Go play, Ate Faye" and I shook my head and said that it was okay. She said, "We want you to play." I didn't want to because it would have been too surreal a game and my heart wouldn't have been in it. I'm glad when people include me, but at the same time I kinda don't want the pity. It's weird like that. I don't understand it myself. I'm a mom who doesn't have her baby, so I don't know how to be treated.

Well...anyway, it's been a crazy couple of months. I know there are more things I've done, but those are the real biggies that have kept me preoccupied. I've certainly had moments when I was filled with much sorrow, but the joy has still been joy. It's that joy that I will not let anyone steal. I've had to remind myself on so many occasions "Praise the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name." And still, I continue to tell people (because it is just so true) God has been faithful.

One last update! I give thanks to God because the vision trip that we were supposed to go on in January (before all the madness) is now going to happen at the end of September/October of this year! God DOES restore. This is going to even be more of an adventure because we don't have a leader. We're going on our own...just me and King. If anyone reads this blog, please pray for us as we do our planning. Also, who knows? This could be a babymoon trip, as well! hehe :)

So, there. You're now officially updated!