Good Friday

First, what a joy it is to have good friends?

(I've been venturing out more and it's done a world of good. I think I've gotten over caring that I cry in front of people and am finally accepting their presence and attempts to comfort).

Today King and I met at Coffee Bean with my old co-worker Sarah and her husband Richie who are living in Georgia. What kindred spirits they were! We laughed and shared our stories. We talked about loving our Muslim cousins. We spoke about their plans to live in China and ours to live in Indonesia. We even took time to talk about how we were doing about our losses as well.

Also, what is Tommy's Sushi without a few good buddies and a poki/poke(sp?) bowl? Our friends Thuy, Jourdan and Joanna, and Nico (my sister's fiance) all went to the RockHarbor Good Friday service and then ate out afterward. Yum and fun.

Hey, if ever you are in Costa Mesa on a weekend you can't miss RockHarbor http://rockharbor.org Let us know if you're ever interested and we'll try to join you. (P.S. If you didn't know already, we love this church). King asked me why I wanted to go to the service the other night. I said because I want to focus on Jesus and the cross. "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." -Hebrews 12:2

And I'm so glad we went. We sang songs that are some of my favorite because of the depths of truth to them. They sang "Once Again"-one of my favorites (sung at my wedding by my sister)
Once again I look upon the cross where You died.
I'm humbled by Your mercy
and I'm broken inside
Once again I thank You
Once again I pour out my heart.

There was an interpretive dance of Jesus' crucifixion, then some artists came up and on big white sheets were painting as we sang some songs. The middle sheet was big feet with a nail pierced through and the perspective was as if we were looking up at them from the ground up. The two side sheets were of hands in different positions. The pastor talked about how the hands symbolize how we all see the cross and the unselfish love differently--some come so thankful, some come to Christ empty with nothing to give, and some come with fingers pointing-not believing that this awesome love could actually be real.

At the end of the service, the pastor told us to write on a small piece of paper something in our lives that can be nailed to the cross (an addiction, lies that have been told us that we've believed about ourselves, something we want to change, etc). During the singing we actually nailed the paper to the cross with a hammer. Afterward, there would be a piece of paper that we could pick up that had Bible verses about our true identity in God. At that moment I perked up because two days ago I sensed strongly that God is wanting me to focus on my identity in Christ! (e.g. that I am God's child, loved by Him, that I can find grace and mercy in time of need, etc.). I was like, 'Dude, God...How cool are You? :)' I whispered to King that that was exactly what I believe God wants me to think on and understand right now.

It's so wonderful how He works. It was like He was speaking right to me :)

I have legitimate feelings of sorrow over losing Malaya, so this grief is definitely real and warranted. However, as time progresses I told myself that I am not going to get stuck in my grief. It's not right to stay this way forever. I'm not gonna rush things and I'm not going to suppress any crazy emotion, but it's not healthy to live in wallowing and see myself as a bereaved, grieving mother for the rest of my life. That is not WHO I am. What has happened to me is that I have lost my child and because of that I am sorrowful. In time, I'm going to learn to let go (what that means, I have yet to completely understand...but I do know it does not mean that I will forget her. May it never be so.)


The love on that cross... SO amazing. But peoples, let's remember that it's NOT His physical crucifixion that saved us. Don't get me wrong, He went through EXCRUCIATING pain. However, if it was only the torture and pain on the cross that saved us, ANYONE could have done it for us. But it was the forsaking of the turning away of the Father, the wrath of our ALL sins that was laid upon Him that caused Jesus to say, "My God, My God. Why have You forsaken me?" It HAD to happen. This perfect, God in flesh, literally became sin that the Father couldn't look upon Him. 2 Corinthians 5:21 - "God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God."


Anyway, it is a Good Friday in so many ways.